What an emotional time this is for me. Posting this blog is very therapeutic.
I have moments of absolute bliss. I look at this baby, sleeping at 11:30 in the morning, and any other problem I am facing is absolute nonsense.
Just look at him. How is he mine? How am I so lucky? Again.
He does a lot more sleeping than Wolfgang did. I like that about him. :)
But when he IS awake (like from 3 to 6 in the morning), he is a crabby patty.
And I am a crabby patty.
I was reading my journal from the month after Wolfgang was born and it was so much harder than this.
Right now, I have all the help in the world with Wolfgang. Its so nice.
But I'm healing a lot slower. Its hard not being able to pick up my Guggy Gooster. I miss him. I can't wait to be able to carry him out to the car or into the bathroom or up to the dining table. I miss his chubby little self.
So there are the hormones that make me cry. There is the pain and the being awake at 3 in the morning that makes me cry.
I do a LOT of crying. Mostly in the evening when I feel the worst.
And I miss the Wolf.
This time will end soon enough and I'll be able to help all the overworked people who are picking up my slack. Until then, gimme some Kleenex.
It is hard., and that's no lie. I'm so sorry the healing is slow-going and the early morning hours are wakeful and fussy. Ugh. If it's any small consolation, I'm sure your family is more than happy for this opportunity to help and be involved. I'll be praying for the best parts of this time to stand out brightly and for the worst parts to pass swiftly away. Love you!
ReplyDelete(And, also, how beautiful are those boys?! I just love the pictures.)
ReplyDeleteHe is just beautiful Heather and he looks so peaceful (in the pic). He looks a lot like Wolfgang did (when he wasn't screaming :-)) when he was that size. Hope you get to feeling better soon - remember you can't heal up in a day or one week - you had major surgery! Take it easy and enjoy it, you'll be up and at 'em soon. Love you!
ReplyDelete